Guilty As Charge

Yes. I am guilty. Yesterday, I woke up and found out that i was suffering from the early stage of flu. I can still hop around, but I can barely say a word. At that morning, I decided to cancel me and my friend's engagement to go to Karaoke. What's the use of going there but unable to sing? So, I frustratingly told my mother I am coming home early.

But......as soon as teacher's day party begun, I started to become QUITE wild and started to chat like a noisy bird. Without realisiing it, I feel better actually. And i was able to talk for a few minutes without breaking off to seek for air. Plus, I ate fried stuffs, carbonated drinks and so on. Looks like the poison just kill the other poison off eh? Just like the chinese proverb says~

Therefore, after the party, I called my mum and told her that I am going to have lunch with my friends. (I dared not to say I am going to Karaoke. God knows what she will do to me?! So, keep it a secret for me eh?) Then, one of us managed to bully a classmate of mine to drive us to Time Square. And that car was a Kancil. 7 people was going. You ask me how to accomodate so many people? Till now I still wondered...But somehow we fit...or not.....

Two guys in front and the other 5 of us have to cramped in the back seat. I was the last one to get in and naturally, I was forced to sit on one of my friend's lap....Feel so sorry for her..for once I thought I was going to smash her into pancake by my weight.

Because I was the only one sitting on my friend's lap, I was the one with most worries. I was worried that we will be stopped by police and drag to police station. I was so damned worried that I clinged on the driver's seat as hard as I can and tried to calm down. What can I do? It's the first time I am doing these things....the feeling of guilt was building up.

When I finally relaxed, there was this guy who came up to our car and knocked on the car window. At that time, my heart nearly came out from my mouth. I sat there paralysed. Plus, there was police car on the left hand side. That guy then scolded us. I don't know what he scolded. But I was in complete panicked and nearly cried. When the light was finally green. I pushed my friend's hand and urge him to drive on. I was worried sick! I even looked back to see whether the guy was following us or not.

Well, this excitement is greater than jumping into a roller coaster. Next time, remind me that I prefer to pay 70 cent to hop on to a bus than to get into this experience again. I doubt that I can survive another heart attack.....

We arrived Time Square and went to Neway. We waited for about 15 minutes or more only then we were given a room. My first time to Karaoke. Looks just like the old chinese movie where people will have show down in one of the box and guns will be firing away. Hahaha~but luckily it was peaceful there, except that sometimes you will hear people yelling like killing a pig or someone singing like he/she was heart broken. We went into the box and started to sing our lungs out. It was fun. But too bad I have to go back early....Haih~Too bad....

Note: My dear friends, I decided to go out on friday because I am like a caged bird which can be freed when I am out of the cage. At least I can go out without my parents mumbling around. Sorry that I cannot go on Saturday. I longed to go to the gathering. But I cannnot cause nobody is fetching me there plus, i think my dad will be furious if i am going out two days in a row.
And no doubt, sunday is a no no. He will require me to stay at home and become a good good girl, or else I am such a dead meat if i step out of the house and come back late...I am so sorry! And I missed you guys! It's been a long time since I see you guys! I want to know what happen to you guys and want to feel the warmth of the ex-classmates and my friends which are loving and caring. I really miss you guys.

P/S: Yo~Anonnymousssss...Don't worry that I will bite your arse or what....can you put your name when you comment? It feels bad when I don't know who is caring for me...

Lots of love
CP

Sometimes, I hate my life.

I think I am being a pathetic scullery maid for these few days. Mum is finally having the energy to critize on what I do and always complain what I did not do. And most of it, she finally became ungrateful. I know that the way I speak of her is very very bad and treacherous, since I am suppose to sing and hailed on that "Mothers are the greatest creature! We must treasure them!"
But, Unfortunately, I am not that good after all. Just had a fight with her. I was like usual, came down and before I started to prepare dinner, I teased the youngest and the spoiled little brat. I only touched her face with my wet hands and she went bizerk and yell.
Like always, the youngest is always right and I got the scolding which sounds like this
"She having a cold! Don't bully her!"
I was like WTH?! Having a cold and a touch of my wet hands will make it worst? For God's sake! If she is really that ill, she is the one who is suppose to be blamed. She didn't recorvered from her last sickness and now she is suffering another. Spoiled brat.
I was angry for getting scold and went to the kitchen to prepapre that bloody dinner. And then, after I have prepared everything, oils in Kuali, holding the "spade" like my shield, she shouted and said "There are only 3 ppl eating, do you need to cook so much?"
I stood there and shouted back and said:" You should have told me earlier! Only after I put the oil into the kuali only then you say!"
It turns out she, scolding me, feeling pathetic for herself because she have to yell to me evnethough she had a wound at her stomach.
Whatever!
I went to the front, got my scolding and here I am, feeling that I hate my life.
She is still now nagging that I never help her in the bloody household and I never mop the floor and BLAH BLAH BLAH! Damn it. Sometimes I think I am the maid among the siblings.
I know that she is having a hard time and this is the time for her to relax and enjoy her 2 months no working holiday.
And I confess that I am not helping much since after a few days of cooking meals for them, I feel exhausted and somehow, I cannot do much in the school or in the house. I feel saturated.
But, condeming me is making me feel like I am a bloody maid which they get it from somewhere in Indonesia(Since I am the dark colour freak). I hate my life.
Among the siblings, who had ever helped her in the kitchen? Who had helped her most frequent in the house? Geez. I WONDER!
Sometimes, I hate my life.'
God, I sometimes even had the thought that Hmm...why suffer from studying? Why don't you packed your bloody bag and go to USA and become a wealthy, shallow little maid?" Sometimes, I really wonder....
I know that I am not a good entertainer and I am very very sure that I always bottle up all my grumbles when facing my parents, or sometimes, friends.
Part of the reason is that I am an arrogant little brat that will never tell you I am hurt or I am angry with you. I will just kick you far far away, and, maybe someday when I feel better, I maybe will pick you up and bring back home. Hah!I think sometimes people thinks that I am a very selfish little brat. And I admit it. I am a selfish little brat~let's celebrate for that huh?
I still have 43 more days to endure this stupid housework thing. well, it will be so damn FUN!
Darn it. Have I ever tell you that my dream was to get out from this house?
I think that sometimes, I wanted to be rich and leave the house and will only visit them when I am free.
I am not a good daughter.
And guess what? My mother confronted me again and told me to control my bloody temper. Ok, I will control, but does she know that this irritation have been bottle up for a few damn days?
I cannot do my homework cause I am exhausted. I cannot concentrate. Even if I had sleeps, I still cannot do it. Damn it.
I know. I will just grab a guy and married off. Great. What a wonderful idea. Don't you think so? Well, I think that is a great idea, since I think I am destined to be the stupidest amongst the siblings and the most irritated one among them.
Sometimes, I hate my life and my spoiled little sister.
I hate a spoiled little childrens. Sorry to offend anyone, but I hate them now.
They are bloody spoiled children by their mother, and a little yell will make their mother rushing towards them. It is not fair.
I had read something in the book and it says that middle children are always self-centered.
Sometimes, I think I am like that.
I don't know...I am feeling very very unhappy now. Damn mother's day. I never give her present. Even in her birthday. Cause I know I am the rebellious child and oh yeah. I never bother to buy present for someone. that is if the someone is really important to me and I have the time to buy present for them.
Note: I am a bad daughter and I know it. Critize me as much as you want. But, learning to manja to my parents are difficult. Learning to love them, I am trying hard right now.
At least I know if the next day I am not going to see them, I will cry my head out. (Touchwood. and CHOI!)
But, it seems so hard for me to endure all this scoldings for helping out. they should be grateful that I am willing to help, instead of scolding them, telling them off that they are not doing houseworks.

Oh~My head is saturated now..

It's being a long time since I updated my blog. Partly because I am lazy and the other part is that I have nothing to blog about...My life is as dull as usual...

But, lately, many things happen. Actually is the chain reaction that lead to so many problems. My mother went for an operation and this means that I am again in charge of the food...

Took all my time to cook for them and it turns out they are not eating. And what pisses me off is that my sister blame me for not filling up the water. I was like WTH! I was busy prepapring the bloody dinner that you are not going to eat and all you did was sitting in the living room and watch 3 movies! Look at the number! 3!!!

Fine! I give up. I am boycotting my responsibility to cook and take care you all. You all are going to search for your own food for tomorrow's lunch and dinner. And by all means, buy something expensive!

BTW...I am so sorry that i cannot go for the duty of the exhibition tomorrow! I am deeply sorry...cause...my father sound a bit offended when I say "I am going to school to do some activity..." And my word just trail off because I was afraid to get the blow...
I am a coward...I am so sorry!

BTW,this is what happens when you believe in your younger sisters...

One day, I was in the mood to have tea. So, I pour in some full cream milk and went to see what my sister was doing. As I was "kacau-ing" the tea, I saw white things floating on top and I ask my sister.
"What is this?"
"It's nothing! Maybe is the fresh milk."
".....Are you sure? Impossible to have things floating on top since it is fresh..."
"Try it lar"
Took a sip and this is the reaction...
"......"
"What?" And she took the cup and have a big gulp.
"........."
It ended up both of us rushing to the sink and washing out the yucky taste...

Never believe in your younger sisters....