Souring now. Don't read if you are not mentally prepared.

Actually, I am not happy. I see the old happy-go-lucky me slipping away. But I don’t have the strength to pull it back to me and let it stay inside my soul.
I am feeling tired lately. I don’t know whether is it the stress or am I PMS- ing. But, too early for PMS huh?
I tend to get very sensitive on what the things people do or say. I just tend to snap back even though the person was innocent. But, I feel good whenever I get to scold somebody. Another kind of method to relieve the tension building up in me. Quite scary for others, but quite effective for me. Even though scolding people will make me feel better, but I still can’t go in front to somebody and scold them right? They somehow have to do something that annoys me only then I can scold the hell out of them. Maybe they are too smart; nobody dared to get near me pisses me off. Making me feel so damn imbalance now. In this post, I would like to say the F word. I just have to say it!!!
I don’t mean to scold anyone in particularly, but, I need to unleash the fucking negative energy in me. Well, that sounds great. But I think I will get a hell lot of white eyes from my friends when they read this. Cause, “This is so not chuan ping style in dealing things.”
I have to admit, they are kind of right. The old me will sit inside my room and sulk. Or worst, pick on my younger sister and scold the hell out of them. Or maybe worst than worst, I will actually plan on doing something bad. Like loitering at Leisure Mall and buy as much novel as I can afford and buy a whole lot of anime posters and feast on the handsome anime guys.
But, I can’t do this anymore. I am tired. Even the handsome anime husbands also cannot arouse me from the soreness that I am suffering. This is fucking pathetic. I cannot scold my younger sisters because lately they are being very good girls. I have no reason to scold them and not getting scolded by my mother instead. I do not sulk anymore. Because sulking needs a lot of energies. And my energies are sipping away slowly. I at least need some energy to kick some people’s ass.
They say that form 6 is tough. I think I am a very insensitive person to the environment. Only now I notice that form 6 IS tough….Slow huh?
I don’t feel happy now. I think I am drifting in the sea of soreness and where am I going to drift to? I have no idea. I don’t want to talk to any other people anymore. Having a conversation with them seems so suffering for me. Looking stupid in front of them doesn’t hurt me anymore.
I am disappointed in many things. Much more than I have ever expected. I was told to enjoy life and never regret the things you do. But saying is easy, doing is the hardest part.
I don’t care anymore. May you all rot in hell and don’t ever bother saying good bye to me. Cause I may give you a shot and send you to hell straight away.
Over and out. Don’t buzz me anymore. Assholes.


“Happily” Written by,
Chin.